June 7: The Late Night Choice

He took a right
Instead of left
Drove through the night
Hoping to find the next step
One maybe far away
Then he thought about what they'd say
When his chair was empty the next day
His right foot lifting off the gas
Thoughts of his family refusing to pass
Eyes beginning to well with tears
Is this what he wanted all those years?

The red break light shines
Upon the shoulder
The lungs gasping in line
To anxiety that felt colder
Fogging the window
Forcing him to go
To try and find more to know
About the emptiness he feels
And how life could steal
All the things he thought made him real

With the minutes that tick
In a night so long
A car will sit
With a man forlorn
Because something opened his eyes to see
That he wasn't really free
But a slave to democracy
Even with all the choice
He's just another voice
What he has isn't who he is
But that's all there is
Yes that's all there is

Exactly were he's going
Next...


Maybe this is playing out right now and "next" may decide everything.

June 6: That Which Seeps Out

Deep, deep down
Woven into the soul
Is the sludge that seeps out
Covering beauty
Destroying civility
Driving complacency

For in fact
What turns the wheels
Changes the gears
Is the same conductor
That makes the heart peel
And drives the tears

Spreading all over
The slick veneer
Dividing pure water
With the hope
Of dissipating into the masses

Onward and upward mankind tries
In a bubble ignoring
Life, and how we've already died


There is a part of all of us that we cannot deny and it is the dark part of our nature. There are moments when we've actually have felt the possibility that we could do major harm to someone or something over the slightest of mishaps. If you live or have lived in New Jersey, the driving of some could drive you crazy. (Pun not quite intended) That deep darkness that seeps out is often times the driving force behind our life. I can't help but think that the darkness that can drive us is relative to the dark stuff that runs our life. I'm talking oil.

As of this moment in June of 2010 the worst oil spill in North America is taking place in the Gulf of Mexico. The sludge that is seeping from the oceans floor is so much like ourselves. As much as we hope that the bad stuff within us will go away, more often than not it won't and it effects everyone around us. I don't know what it will take for people to realize that oil may not be a good resource for us. (Don't worry I'm not going to go political...at least not yet.) Let alone I am honest in saying that I am dumbfounded as to how to stop this oil leak and spill in the Gulf. I do believe that the seeping and darkness of our hearts can be stopped. Not only that but cleaned up and made anew. What I see though is the ever leaning desire to ignore that which is within oneself and live life with one foot already in the grave.

June 5: Keeping in Mind the Promises

There's no guarantee
That anything will work out
To know one hundred percent is rare
More often there is doubt

Every year I think I know
What a month will bring
Then life gets hotter
Summer comes skipping over spring

That's when there's a need for cool relief
To keep us on our feet

The grass grows quicker than
The time it takes to mow
Every month were sold reaping
What about the time to sow?

With all of the plans
That I lay down
It takes a second
To turn them all around

That's when there's a need for relief
To keep us on our feet

With uncertainty
There's promises within me
That can change the world around
If I only keep to the ground
Planting and pulling
Understanding and knowing
About what it really means
To know there's no guarantee
But there's no need
To worry

There's no guarantee
That anything will work out
To know one hundred percent is rare
More often there's doubt

But there's no need to worry


June really kicks into gear the heat that will be coming throughout the rest of the summer months. And not only the heat but the growth of the plants and wildlife all around. There's also the change of the commercial season towards summer related stuff and things that I can't help but want relief. With all of the growth that surrounds me in nature I only feel that I am sold the idea to reap. Consume, consume, consume. But what about planting?

There's value in planting, and taking the time to understand the things that matter the most. For myself those things that matter the most are the promises that say that no matter how much the world will change, or how uncertain the future looks, there is a God that cares. There is no need to worry. I am cognizant of what can go wrong and am fully aware of uncertainty, but I am not alone. No matter what happens God's hand will provide.

June 4: Anniversary

There's a wedding that one day awaits
A perfect bride united with their mate
With a celebration
And guests from all nations
Making vows for eternity

Then everyday
Will be like an
Anniversary
Looking upon the one
Who is perfection
Joy spreading as far as can be

Though not there yet
There's much to expect
From the groom still to come
Who'll make everyday
Like the best
Anniversary

Here can only be a reflection
Of a marriage of perfection
With love like no one
Beauty that shines like the sun
Love that will one day cease

But everyday
I'll try to make it an
Anniversary
Two is better than one
Love the mission
Always giving the all of me

With each and every vow
And the best I know how
Making the most of each day
You are my prize
I'll cherish your life
And love you more than yesterday
Celebrating everyday
Like it's the best
Anniversary

There is allot I can say about this writing but it would just be too much and may complicate things. I'll try to be short with this and let you ruminate over the words. I believe one day that there will be a perfect union of creator and the created and there is often times an emphasis placed upon that union. But if I truly believe in an eternal union what will that be like? My only thoughts are what I know from my life. Being with someone that I love deeply and madly I can only think that everyday in that perfect union will be like celebrating an anniversary. In an anniversary there is the reminder and joy of the love that each other has for one another. There is celebration and praise given and I can only think that the joy that I experience now is nothing compared to what awaits. But for now the love I have for my wife is a reminder of the love that I have for my creator and as I love my wife more and more, I will strive to do the same for the one who has showed me what it means to love.

June 3: The Shore

The tide comes in
Bringing with it all the pieces
Disposed by the seas use
Left to breakdown
Covered over
By the sand

Footprints left on those sands
Marking exploration or vacation
Coming to use
Or visiting before a breakdown
To cover over
Life with a sun tan

The waves sing out
In a constant whoosh of exaltation
The song consistent
From beginning to the final culmination

The breeze through the dunes
The grass shifts sideways
A movement of contemplation
The shore symphony


In New Jersey there is not a beach, there is a shore. Sure I know it's semantics but in New Jersey you go down to the shore. Even if you are traveling north to get there. The New Jersey shore is a well traveled and visited place during the summer. People from the surrounding area come to take in the ocean and the world of beach towns. For all of the glamour of vacationing and going to beaches, there is a part of us that is getting away from something. We handle that something by distracting ourselves with a vacation. I'm sure we can all think about vacations that we have taken in the past and all of the stuff that we did during them. There's a time to rest but where is true rest? Walking along the shore line there are little bits of shell and algae and other stuff that is just the used stuff of the ocean. We come to the shore as used stuff. Where the things of the ocean are covered over by sand and broken down, we cover ourselves with a tan, as if that is a successful sign of relaxation.

The constant song of the ocean rings out. The song began at one point and will one day be a part of the eternal culmination. We miss that on our vacations. We miss the symphony that has been created and is before us. The breeze that runs through the grass of the dune is like a dance to the oceans symphony. The grass gets it but we miss it. What will it take for us to realize what is important and how true rest can be obtained? May the shore continue to sing.

June 2: Connections

A strange feeling comes over me
As if I've been away a long, long time
This place nestled near a valley
Buildings that are a part of my life

Though I've moved on
And years pass away
I cannot forget the steps
That I've traveled in those days
I may be older
But I know I'm not done
Understanding things learned
And what it means to be someone

Those same feelings rise up
When reading ancient words
Whether pain or pleasure
Follows after every promised turns

And when I move on
And those days pass away
May each and every step
Be ones that make me stay
Closer to the Son
More than anyone
For that's the only way
I've ever found to be someone

One day the feeling will fade
Into a feeling for eternity
Being away will finally cease
Home being filled with glory


A slight word about the actual posting dates for this song/poem journey. Technically in blog world I guess you can say that you have to post every day to be posting consecutively. For this journey I am finding that I'm writing the song/poem during the day and then posting sometime around the turn of midnight, which could throw off the dates of the posts with the titles. I'm not a stickler for time but I do want all to know that I'm not cheating or delaying in any way shape or form. Now for the piece.

There are places that become a part of us. Just as a journal holds moments of life, so often do I find myself finding moments in places. One in particular is my first college. I did not have the more fashionable four year experience, rather a long part time, here and there post-highschool learning experience. And on top of that my first college was a two year community college that wound up being a six year college. In that place are many memories and moments that have shaped who I am today. Even though I may kick myself now and say, "Why did I take so long?" It was all a part of a plan to help me become who I am now.

I often find that same feeling when I read whats in the Bible. There's a part of me that feels that I'm away from someplace. I think somehow that feeling relates to a verse that says that believers are strangers in this world. And to compound that one writer in the Bible says that our lives are not all there is, there's a home waiting for us in eternity. That strange feeling of being away comes and goes when in the midst of the Son. Somehow when I'm closer to Jesus I start to understand what my true home is really like. And in that place there is glory.

June 1: Opening the Books

Open my books
To any page
Look inside once
Find peace and rage

The least of strokes
Cut marks from a sword
Nothing for naught
Nor a useless word

So from the all of me
I hope you see
That the days and nights
Of the yesteryears
May somehow help you
On your journey

My thoughts
And all of my ways
Read foreign
Missing in between days

All that's written
Never fully capturing
Whats been left behind
In feelings

So from the all of me
I hope you see
That the days and nights
Of the yesteryears
May somehow help you
On your journey

Don't be surprised
When you find with your eyes
The reasons I'm alive
And how one can survive

So from the all of me
I hope you see
That the days and nights
Of the yesteryears
May somehow help you
On your journey



So begins the journey of writing a song/poem for everyday of June. I don't want to go into too much detail about this piece but I do see it as a song. The music part I still have to work on. The lyrics are about looking into ones past through what has been written. I know I expressed in the previous post about my journals and in a way this song is about what things could maybe be found when looking at someones past. Even though we can take a look and read what someone wrote about years ago, there still is a part of the past that is left in the individual. The unexpressed, reserved feeling of having been in that place and experience. For all the books that we might open to learn about the past, know that understanding the fullness of such things is very difficult. Yet we still have a desire to try.