Some Outsiders

It seemed wrong to dream
Cause time was left outside
A group of people it had seemed
Their emotions they could not hide


August is over and what that usually means is summer is over. With the end of summer comes another school year. For many those days are long gone. But with media attention focusing on "Back to School Fever" there is a part of my mind that reflects back.

1999 was ten years ago. I was a Junior for the first half of the year then with September of 99 I became a senior in High School and the end of a century seemed like nothing compared to where I was in life. As the first bells of September rang, the hallways crowded with jittery teenagers placating false tiredness, everything that was so despised became home again. For myself I was right at home but I was as anonymous as ever. Like any others high schooler you try to put yourself into groups and activities to try and gain some traction in life. I had my sports but I also had my club. That club was creative writing.

I know how I felt the first time I joined a creative writing meeting. My silent arrogance emanated from my corner of the room as I watched and heard the writings my peers. There were people from all swaths of clicks in this club and for me, maybe I was the jock of the group. Though I never felt like a jock. As I continued meeting every Monday at 5 with this group what arrogance I contained turned in on itself and I saw myself as a fellow misfit orating verse in search of empathetic ears.

Individuals, that's what we were
Questions were raised of who to die
We weren't sure
But we had our reasons why

Some weeks were highly charged. Our pens and verse as sharp as any sword, cutting at the deepest of emotions but connecting our heart strings to beat as one. Then there were weeks where drama accrued and took its' toll, dividing those within, frustrating and revealing our minds to be nothing but elementary drivel. Our writings might has well have been manure for the fields. But we persevered.

The words seem to still resonate
And opinions we each had
Could fill the slate
Of what was good and bad

There was power in those words
What was said
It was not absurd
What happened will stay in our heads

At the end of each creative writing year, those with the time and patience would come together create the magazine that would encompass that which excelled. In that moment of time one could read through a wide spread of emotions. For a group of misfits there certainly was no shame in expressing authenticity. 1999 is gone, creative writing is now in someone else's hand. What it has become, who knows? For a moment we came together and unleashed ourselves and discovered that the differences of appearances are nothing more than a shadow. There are many stories about the group that could be written but I'm sure you already know what they are. For maybe your life has traveled those same hallways, and occupied those same desks.

I never knew the power of friends
Friends I never had
But it's times like these that make me glad
Times like these makes it hard to speak
But I know it will all change
Next week

Verses from An Interpretation by Evan Walter 1999

For All Mankind

As summer comes upon its' end I feel as if I have let slip away many opportunities to share some thoughts on this blog. But this summer has brought forward new adventures and challenges that have replaced allot of things that I once took part in on a daily basis. Now I realize that in a few short days I will be stepping back into the world of education and will force myself to transition my current priorities to ones that were once familiar. Hopefully there will be little stress and a smooth exchange as being a student becomes a major priority again.

One thing that The Band of Outsiders has rarely done is venture into cinema. This is odd because that is what I study in school and am constantly learning about in my free time. What is also odd is that The Band of Outsiders was originally intended to be a critical cinematic exploration into all facets of cinema. One idea was that The Band of Outsiders was going to be an underground magazine with contributions coming from those that seriously wanted to talk about cinema and its importance. But that never got off the ground so I ventured to Myspace with the idea and started to write about films on my Myspace page. That has dissipated and most writings on film are left for academia and The Band of Outsiders has metamorphosed into something else. But I say why not write about film and profess a love of mine?




For All Mankind (Al Reinart, 1989) is a documentary film that explores one of mankind's greatest adventures, going to the moon. Reinart gives us the story of adventure through the voices of those who embarked on that adventure, the astronauts. Reinart compiles footage that was shot by NASA into a succinct personal experience. Reinart's film also allows us to contemplate on our world today by examining the experiences of the past.

The first footage of the film is of President Kennedy famously declaring that America will go to the moon and after that we are put into the world of the astronauts. As the astronauts are showed preparing for launch, traveling in earths orbit, heading to the moon, and then being on the moons surface the personal retelling of emotions and feelings compliment the restored footage of a by gone era.

Being forty years removed from when Neil Armstrong first stepped onto the surface of the moon there is a sense of amazement in the accomplishment of landing on the moon. Armstong's famous first steps and words may be cliché now but when taken in from the point of view from mission control and the faces of those watching there is a renewed wonder in seeing the first man on the moon. As subsequent visitors of the moon discuss their adventures it becomes apparent that what was accomplished in a short period of time was absolutely immense. What also becomes apparent is the massiveness of space and earth within in it.

Many of the astronauts, as they express their views of orbiting earth, find a sense of home and they express the importance of all parts of the world. In one shot their is footage of small orange dots speckled across the night landscape of Africa. Those orange dots are fires where people have created a living area. The enormity of Africa in daylight is desert and all of the reasonable learnings of inhospitably of such a climate seem lacking when viewed during the night. It's as if Reinart allows us to understand that home is home regardless of our preconceptions. There is that same feeling as the astronauts discuss leaving the moon. For some the barren rocky world had become a home, and as the lunar capsule departs the surface, home once again disappears for the astronauts.

For all Mankind does not only show us the adventure but explains the purpose of the adventures to the moon. It may seem that our reasons for space exploration and exploration of the moon were political in nature but for those scientists and astronauts the journey became something more. The harsh landscape of the moon became a playground for science but also a place to prove the determination and resolve of a nation. The moon was not only for us but for all of mankind. How can this be?

Upon its initial release in 1989, Reinarts film can be seen as nostalgic and a film that offers a glimpse into history that was rarely seen. In 2009 as earth faces many tough questions on climate change and global warming, For All Mankind seems to be a form of positive evidence that in a short period of time, with determination and resolve, things can change and be accomplished. For All Mankind also seems to become a statement for mankind to explore the importance of our world. It's easy to say that we can put a man on the moon but we can't...(fill in the blank) as a funny type of argument. But such arguments may prove our shortcomings when dealing with serious issues. For All Mankind shows the beauty of not only the moon but also of our planet and what can be accomplished. As we look up into our respective night sky's let us imagine with wonder what it must be like to be in such a place but also how important the place that we are standing on is.

The Lost Game

It was a hot summer day when my then girlfriend and myself got into my car and drove off to Best Buy. The purchase that was going to be made was a brand new Xbox system. By the time I was buying this square black box the system had already been out for some time but was still new enough that there was a hype and buzz about it. A few hours after later my girl and I were in front of the television playing Halo and mindlessly letting the hours slip away just like many other twenty somethings at the time.

This was the first system that I had actually gotten into since my brother had recieved as a present the super Nintendo some years back. Video games had significantly changed from the Super Nintendo to the Xbox but I changed also. Rather than ride the wave of the future, video games disappeared from my hobbies for many years until I was turned onto the Xbox by a friend and my cousin. But there was another game "system" that did preoccupy my time, sometimes more often than not. That "system" was the war-game.

The war-game is not like a board-game, but it can have a board. The war-game surpasses leisure and becomes a boot camp for the brain and an analytical labyrinth. The war-game finely sharpens the competitive edges of the soul and enhances the depths of history. But the war-game is also an outsider and those who dare enter its' realm have to face the repercussions of being a part of it.

The relationship with the war-game has always been a tricky one. There is a sense that playing any type of war-game is hanging onto the past and living in a hyperbole of history. In fact many people that I know who are younger than me dare even touch the box of a war-game. And for those curious enough to browse through a games contents, the realization that you actually have to know rules to play the game properly is a complete turn off. It is so easy to turn on a video game and just start playing. Convenience has replaced the war-game, and the luster of technology replacing the imagination of cardboard.

But now there is the Xbox 360 and the ability to game with people via the internet. For those who have done this I'm sure you know of the gamut of gamers who exist. Those who's competitive edge is win at all cost and there are those who's failure to accept loss brews hatred and spite. The Xbox 360 is fun to play but there are those times, and they are very few, when friends and family get together and sit down to play a war-game. The hours pass unknowingly but camaraderie is built, character formed and an appreciation for each other is gained. When failure comes, sure we can say the dice beat us and when the unexpected is achieved we try to believe that was what was planned all along. Long live the war-game.

Best Soup Ever?

We all have a favorite food. There's that one thing that you can go to when you're feeling down or just needing to satisfy that one spot of your belly that just doesn't seem to not be hungry. For myself, I'm a soup guy. I firmly believe that soup is not a meal, if anything an appetizer, but for me it's pure delight. I've had allot of soup in my time and over the years I've had to say farewell to some soups for my stomach and their content could not agree with each other.

I've had many soups over the years and it's hard to peg which one is my favorite. Chicken noodle is the bedrock of all soups and nothing compares to a hearty chicken noodle. In fact Aubrey makes yummy chicken noodle. Then there's Wonton soup, which in my belief is imperative whenever one eats chinese food. Sure you can go with the Egg drop (yuck!) but a large Wonton soup is the chaser for the main dish. There's also the chowder dishes. Especially Aubrey's Clam Chowder (which has gone under the moniker of Big Fat Loser Clam Chowder after the Patriots lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants) which is the best Clam Chowder I have ever tasted. Sadly my stomach can no longer visit Manhattan but if memory serves me right that was a pretty darn good soup.

The best? There is one soup that every time I eat I wait in expectation like a child on christmas day for it to be brought to me. Not a drop is left in the bowl, the spoon licked dry. That soup is Cream of Turkey. I have not seen this soup anywhere else in my travels, then again I don't like to travel far from the soup. If I were to ever move from central NJ I feel as if I would have to visit monthly just for the soup. The Cream of Turkey is golden and may very well have been the mysterious Manna in the book of Exodus. (Ok, maybe not.)

Many attempts have tried to replicate the soup but all have fallen short, the deliciousness alluding the cook. If there were ever a food I would have genetically broken down it would be this one. What savory flavors are added to make a soup so tasteful? What mystery's of culinary expertise have been tapped into to create such a soup?

The cream of turkey is so good the most I've ever had in one sitting is 8 bowls. And that wasn't even my meal, cause soups not a meal! If I were to ever be stuck on an island with one food choice it may very well be the cream of turkey soup. If you are ever in the central jersey area I can show you where to get this soup but beware your life may never be the same after having it.

Reprieve

For too long I was in the shadows of a final paper for a graduate class on ideas in media studies. And now that I am out of that shadow all I can say is, "Wow that light is really bright." The spring 2009 semester is finished and in a few months another ton of work awaits me.

Many of you may know that I and the wife have moved further into Middlesex (the smell emanating from Dunellen was just too much to take, jk) and are setting things up nicely. Even though we don't own the place and are pesky renters we still get to have the responsibilities as if we did own the place. In some odd way there is a cyclical rhythm that travels through my brain and makes me think about the concept of a house.

We've got houses upon houses in the U.S of A, so many that there are many places where they're just sitting empty where as in other places there are tents that people are living in. Don't have to go too far for that in NJ. And of course many places around the world there are houses made of refuse, land features and for some, the only roof there is are the stars above.

But I guess for all of us the only house we've really got is the earth, there's enough space for all of us, with rooms with temperatures of whatever we like and if you prefer a water bed we got 4 oceans just waiting for you. The little place I live in now is so far so good. I don't want to trash it in any way or abuse the structure in any way but for some reason the greater house that I've got isn't treated the same way as this little place in Middlesex.

I don't know about you but I wouldn't defecate in the glass I was about to drink out of or dump my garbage in all over someone else's house but in a way we all kind of do that. Then I think about what this one person said;

Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.

I don't think those pioneers in American history ever did this, nor do I think the pilgrims did that upon their arrival. I'll just wonder if there's something more to this.

The power of protest

For some time now the New School University has been in a struggle between the students and the President of the college Bob Kerrey. For those located in the New York tri-state area maybe you have seen some of the small news coverage of said protests. For as many protests and sit ins and the such there has been little to no movement from the President (besides being chased down 5th avenue).

Yesterday, in a silent announcement, Bob Kerrey said he would not renew his contract with the school in 2011. The board of Trustees, student senate and everyone else now try to figure out how to transition to a new president. There is no denial that the growing protests and frustrations with the administration are evidence enough of Kerrey's willingness to not renew his contract. But I wonder, is this evidence of protest having an impact to cause change, or is it the establishments victory through time?

Since we well into 100 days of a new presidency we have moved on from the former president of this country who, as we all know, was a great polarizer of the people. Yet for all of protesters demands of the former president, he graciously handed over the keys to our current president and flew out of Washington D.C. without even looking back. Did the protester's win? Did they get their way by getting the polarizer out of office?

With the New School president moving on after 2011 there will be some jubilee for those who have been in opposition to Bob Kerrey. But did the protests do what they were intended to do? The school has to figure where they will go with student demands and administration policy. As for the government of this nation, the dirty laundry is out on the past administration and what will happen? It is clear to see that nothing will happen. In the end the protester gets what they want but only masked by the civil law that was established by the establishment.

For Marilyn

I'm willing to take the heat from this post but I've got to say that on April 13th a legend passed away, and not the type of legend that many of us are willing to look up to. Her name was Marilyn Chambers, actually Marilyn Ann Briggs. For you see Marilyn Chambers was the performing name of Ms. Briggs. Marilyn became an icon of a different type of cinema, a cinema fraught with many battles and cast into the limelight of cheap sound bites and media exploitation. That cinema is what many people call pornography or adult cinema.

Marilyn got her start in an extra role in the Owl and the Pussycat and then in Sean S. Cunningham's adult sex education film Together. Her first touch of fame came when she was selected to represent the mother on Ivory Soap products.




Marilyn's icon would soon create stirs when she took on her first adult film role in the Mitchell Brothers Behind the Green Door. Marilyn was immediately placed into the spotlight and at the time of Behind the Green Door's release, adult cinema's golden age began with Marilyn Chambers becoming an instant queen of the screen. Unlike other adult film actresses of the time, Marilyn made two films with the Mitchell brothers and then decided to do cross-over into mainstream film. She was cast in David Cronenberg's Rabid as a disease infected temptress that spreads an outbreak that causes people to become zombies. The film would be prophetic in its representation of the growing spread of AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases. The film would also be the last major mainstream role in which she would play. Which in my view is not a bad thing considering that she returned to adult cinema and put on one of (possibly her best) roles as Sandra Chase in the film Insatiable.

Insatiable was a film that brought a high quality of filmmaking to adult cinema that had always been attempted but many times fell short. The film cost more than most adult films but also created a non-linear narrative that added a sophisticated aesthetic to the film. It is possible that Insatiable is what the adult filmmakers always wanted out of adult films but failed in developing. But just as Insatiable opened the doors to the possibility's of an adult cinema of high aesthetics, that door was shut in the anti-pornography crusades of the 1980's.

Spearheaded by the Moral Majority on the right and feminist groups on the left adult cinemas began to close their doors and fall away from film and into the world of video. Marilyn had few to little choices and continued her career in the video market. With growing concern with AIDS and STD's Marilyn backed away from starring roles in adult films and began starring in softcore cable productions and making guest appearances in adult films.

I got to meet Marilyn Chambers a few years back at a film convention. I wanted to meet the actress that created characters that battled the stereotypes of adult cinemas opponents. She was pleasant and courteous and spoke to me about what it was like working with David Cronenberg and making films. She had guts and she had talent. She was part of a time period of filmmaking that is no longer with us. It is my hope that someday film historians and critics of adult cinema will look back and see how valuable the contributions that Marilyn Chambers has given filmmaking throughout her career.