June 27: The Long Nights

I never asked for
A time of testing
Even when it helps me
Understand times of blessings

Instead of seeking comfort
And asking for help
I was off to a corner
Refusing to get well

I don't understand loss
But I'm beginning to understand
What it means to carry my cross

When long nights
Seemed as if they would never end
And heartache
Was my only friend
The still small voice inside
Glared light into my eyes
That opportunity to blink
Opening my eyes to see and think
About how there's approaching
A greater day

My words were often
Very, very few
Folding hands in prayer
Was the opposite of what I wanted to do

It always felt easy
To let failure reign
And to forget about wisdom
That comes through times of pain

I don't understand loss
But I'm beginning to understand
What it means to carry my cross

When long nights
Seemed as if they would never end
And heartache
Was my only friend
The still small voice inside
Glared light into my eyes
That opportunity to blink
Opening my eyes to see and think
About how there's approaching
A greater day

The battles are never over
Even though I plead for
Peace during this war
The struggles are not
For me alone
The battle belongs to the Lord

I never asked for
A time of testing
Even when it helps me
Understand times of blessing



There have been many instances that have led me to having long nights. Some were of my own doing, others having come from people around me. When I think about having to "carry my cross" I reflect to why Jesus had to carry his on his day of death. His burden was so much more than just the present physical suffering he faced, but he was carrying the burden of the world. When there are moments of pain, it was there, loneliness, sorrow, seclusion, they were all there that day. And most importantly the three letter word of death, sin. If Jesus had never carried the cross, we would never have the blessing of it.